"Suddenly" Isn't Sudden (And Other Time Marker Problems)

Let me ask you a question. If everything is sudden, is anything sudden?

No. If everything happens suddenly, then nothing does. The word loses its meaning. It becomes white noise. It becomes invisible. And that's exactly what happens when you overuse "suddenly" in your writing.

The "suddenly" problem.

"Suddenly" is supposed to create surprise. It's supposed to signal a shift, a jolt, an unexpected event. "Suddenly, the door burst open." "Suddenly, the lights went out." "Suddenly, she realized she was wrong."

But when "suddenly" appears on every page, it stops working. The reader becomes desensitized. They stop registering the surprise. They stop feeling the jolt. And the prose starts to feel choppy, awkward, and amateurish.

Here's the thing: "suddenly" is often redundant. If something happens unexpectedly, you don't need to tell the reader it's unexpected. You can just show it. "The door burst open" is sudden. "The lights went out" is sudden. "She realized she was wrong" is sudden. The word "suddenly" adds nothing except a speed bump.

The "then" problem.

"Then" is another time marker that gets overused. "She walked to the store. Then she bought milk. Then she went home. Then she made dinner." It's a list of events, not a story. It's mechanical. It's plodding. It lacks flow.

"Then" is often unnecessary. "She walked to the store, bought milk, and went home to make dinner." The events flow naturally, without the choppy "then, then, then."

The "suddenly happening sequence" problem.

This is the worst offender. It looks like this: "Suddenly, the door burst open. Suddenly, a man walked in. Suddenly, he pulled out a gun. Suddenly, she screamed."

Four "suddenly"s in four sentences. The scene is supposed to be tense, but it reads like a parody. The repetition kills the tension. The word that's supposed to create surprise creates monotony instead.

Why do we overuse time markers?

Because pacing is hard. Because we're trying to control the rhythm of a scene, and "suddenly" and "then" feel like tools for doing that. Because we're afraid that without these words, the reader won't understand the sequence of events or the speed at which things are happening.

But here's the truth: readers are smart. They understand sequence. They understand speed. You don't need to hold their hand with "then" and "suddenly." You can trust them to follow.

How to fix the time marker problem.

The first step is awareness. Use Word Census to count how many times you've used "suddenly," "then," and other time markers. You might be surprised by the results.

Once you have that data, here's how to fix it:

1. Delete "suddenly." In most cases, you can just remove it. "Suddenly, the door burst open" becomes "The door burst open." The sentence is stronger, more immediate. The surprise is in the event itself, not the adverb.

2. Delete "then." "She walked to the store. Then she bought milk." becomes "She walked to the store and bought milk." The events flow naturally. The reader follows without effort.

3. Use action and sensory detail to create pace. Instead of "Suddenly, the car swerved," describe the swerve. "The car veered left, tires screeching, and she slammed on the brakes." Instead of "Then he left," describe the leaving. "He grabbed his coat and walked out, slamming the door behind him."

4. Vary sentence structure. Short sentences create speed. Long sentences create flow. A paragraph of short, choppy sentences feels urgent. A paragraph of long, flowing sentences feels calm. Use structure to control pace, not adverbs.

5. Trust the scene. If the scene is tense, the tension will come through in the events and the language. You don't need to tell the reader it's sudden. You don't need to tell them it's tense. Show them.

A note on "suddenly" in dialogue.

Sometimes, "suddenly" is appropriate. Sometimes, you need to signal a shift in a way that only "suddenly" can do. But these instances are rare. Most of the time, the word is a crutch. Cut it.

The bottom line.

"Suddenly" and "then" are like salt. A little bit enhances the flavor. Too much ruins the dish. If your manuscript is full of time markers, your prose will feel choppy, mechanical, and amateurish. But you can fix it.

Run your manuscript through Word Census. Count your "suddenly"s and "then"s. Then start cutting. Your pacing will improve. Your prose will flow. And your readers will feel the difference.